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1.
The Ballad of Typhoid Mary 04:07
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Mary, Mary, you’re so contrary Where do your flowers grow? Did you share your secrets willingly Do you hold them when they go? Was it three or a hundred and fifty Do you keep your tallies close? Does it matter if they were willing To let your gardens grow? How did you escape the culling? Why were you the lucky one? In the darkness, souls are waiting In the light, the forest grows The subway beckons you to terror You spread your flowers as you go Was it love or chaos calling? Was it loss that made you glow? Death is just around the corner You can help Her as she goes How did you escape the culling? Why were you the lucky one? Why did you accept this mission? Was there a boon you’d like to share? Mary, Mary, such a pixie You live like a garden gnome You spend your days just digging dirt Do you call the ground your home? Are you friends with fallen angels Do they drag you down below? If the sky were any clearer Which way would you have the wind blow Are there barrows all around you The ground covered with snow Do you share your flowers willingly?
2.
Corners of the Earth 03:42
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Why do I want to run Inside of my dreams When there’s nothing to fear And another stream of consciousness That takes me back to yesterday I shake the corners of the Earth I break the sounds Back and forth again Into the acid rain Why do I have to fall Into another dream That’s nothing but fear The answers slip away again Into the void I go again I break the corners of the Earth To shape the sound Back and forth again Into the acid rain How can I read the room When the room is filled up with fools? Why must I descend Into this ancient sand Away from my homeland Descending to another world I feel my footsteps overheard I change the corners of the Earth To make my sound back and forth again into the acid rain How can I read the room When the room is filled up with fools? How can I stand this pain When the rain filled with all these memories?
3.
I Can Hear Breathing 06:55
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Shifting patterns of light Voices scatter in the night I watch the castles fall Distant thunder in the night And the clashing of lights I watch cathedrals burn Ashes cover the ground Voices don’t make a sound But I can hear the breathing And the Sun doesn’t rise A darkness covers the skies But I can hear breathing Come to me, Show me How to wake up the world Come to me, Show me how Broken bridges and roads How to find my way home? There are no stars out tonight The rain continues to burn And the air feels like a churn There are no stars left tonight Ash will cover everything There are no birds left to sing There is no horizon There’s no time to turn No more bridges to burn Where are my options? Still the Sun doesn’t rise And darkness covers the skies But I can hear breathing Come to me, Show me How to wake up the world Come to me, Show me how Where do I go? Who should I be? What do I need to get me to the sea? What do I know? Who can I be? What are my reasons to make believe? What do I care? Why am I free? How do I face these impossibilities? Shifting patterns of light Voices scatter in the night And I can hear breathing
4.
Little Secrets 04:32
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I wonder, can I have the time? I wonder, do I have the time? To do the things I need to do To cross the lists and misconstrue The answers into something new Where will I come through? I wonder, who commits the crime? I wonder, is it on my dime? The reasons I can disappear Are not the same for you, my dear I have no answers, for you When will i come through? Little secrets everywhere Open hands and thoughts to spare One should hope and then despair But be aware of everything that’s here I wonder, will you take the time? I wonder, will you take what’s mine? Don’t do the thing you want to do Don’t look around or play the fool Don’t run away and then come through I wonder if you can make it too? Little secrets everywhere Open hands and thoughts to spare One should hope and then despair But be aware of everything Little secrets everywhere Open hands and thoughts to spare One should hope and then despair But be aware of everything that’s here
5.
Insecure 05:22
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What do I do to change the tide? Where do I go to catch this ride? And I should know just what to say What do I do to save my day? What can I do to change your mind? What can I do to make you stay? And I should know just where you are What do I do to hide these scars? Why should I believe? And how could I deceive you? What do I do to change my life? Where to I go to realign? And I should know which way to go What do I do inside of this glow? Why should I believe? And how could I deceive you? Where is my intensity? And why do we disagree? What do I do to stop this time? And how do I find a place to hide? And I know that I should change And I know I could today And I know that I should break away And I know that I should try Why should I believe you? And how could you deceive me? And what about my intensity? And why should we disagree?
6.
Left to Bare 06:55
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Distant memories Of frozen homes Our fallen heroes Buried in the loam Drifting principals And token drums Fading warriors With no way home There are reasons left to hide Or take the world in stride And face mortality There are reasons left to share And burdens left to bare No more visions Of our broken homes No more reasons To go alone Empty memories Of reckless lore No more enemies Inside this useless war No more reasons left to hide Or take the world in stride And face mortality No more reasons left to share Or burdens left to bare
7.
About the Thing 03:59
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Can I tell you about the thing? A thing you won’t believe A thing that's so amazing It will blow you away Do you know? I could tell you About the thing Let me tell you about the thing It’s something to behold Amazing, reflective thing It might blow you away Do you know? I could tell you Do you know? I could show you Why won’t you believe The thing about the thing?
8.
When the Wind Blows 04:28
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Take away the trees Take away the buildings Does anyone believe That they were ever there? Crumbling pavement Abandoned playgrounds When the wind blows It scatters everything Dried-out rivers Empty sea-beds Where did they go? Do they flow underground? A simple lifespan Sears tomorrow Trades eternity For today Take away the cries Take away the people Does anyone here Remember the tides? No more answers No more children Does anyone here Remember the time That a simple lifespan Seared tomorrow And traded eternity For today A lonely figure Waits for tomorrow And trades eternity For yesterday Why does it burn? Why is it so dry?
9.
Morning is Such a Traitor 04:00
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A fragile boy at night He does his verses And he knows it isn’t right But he knows their vices So he takes his lashes And he drinks his milk Adds up the losses Watches for the kill Morning is such a traitor When there’s time to kill Wincing is a new behavior If he just stands still Show me where the moments happen Tell me when the Moon is still Help me with another season Help me with another kill A lonely girl at night And she reads her verses But she knows it isn’t right To ignore the curses So she burns the churches And she drinks her milk Adds up her losses Waits for the kill Morning is such a traitor When there’s time to kill Burning is an odd behavior When she has the skill Show me where the moments happen Tell me when the Moon is still Help me with another season Help me with another kill Morning is such a traitor When there’s time to kill Wincing is a new behavior If you’d just stand still Show me where the moments happen Tell me when the Moon is full Help me with another reason Help me with another kill
10.
Father and Son (A Cyberpunk Story) 06:05
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A boy came home, full of shame After losing in an academy game His father greeted him with a smile “It’s ok, have fun, failure is the beauty of the human style” The years had passed, and the son left Advancements had hit, with technical shift A plague had spread, and their health fell in decline Meds became digital chips- from their heads, they’d shine Father and Son The bond broken, having different hearts Father kept following the old white light Son left searching for a different guide Father and Son new goals awaken, and set them apart Father wants his son back, to feel human again Son wants perfection, not to feel shame or pain Digital Chips granted limitless health In the place of human feelings and wealth The Father was struggling to cope with these emotions The meds kept telling him they were just delusions The Son gambled with illegal mods Just to mend every flaw that he saw He was pleased when the chips seemed to grant him a fix, Then enraged when the changes caused an avoidable glitch Father and Son The bonds broken, having different hearts Father kept following the old white light Son left searching for a different guide Father and Son new goals awaken, and set them apart Father wants his son back, to feel human again Son wants perfection, not to feel shame or pain The Father’s search for humanity Led him to his son seeking perfection But it left him with no sanity Searching for hope inside an infernal machine To revive his humanity, Father joined his soul with a frozen machine Forming a unity, but erasing his mind To hold on to his son’s remains Left with a single memory “It’s ok, have fun, failure is the beauty of the human style”
11.
Ghosts in the Machine 06:25
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Tick-tock, boondocks Where are my hands, where are my feet? Tick-tock, deadlock Load in my past, make me complete Sidewalk, mohawk These are my eyes, these are my dreams Gridlock, livestock Where are my threads, where are my treats? Turn away or turn inside? Wishful thinking Is there a god? Only machines Turn my favors Into a fraud, my quarantine No more corners Something to feed, something routine Tick-tock, tick-tock Do I believe? Do I believe? Am I a man or a machine? Wonder and amaze The City lives inside my brain Close and discover The mask that drives me insane Tick-tock, time clock Where is your home? Where is your pay? Tick-tock, cold shock This is a lie, this is a game Take your small talk Take it outside, make a display Tick-tock, bird squawk Can you complain? Can you explain? Are you dreaming now? Lose your visions There is no god, there is no pain Learn your lessons Make up the time, learn to refrain Tick-tock, unlock Open your hands, open your eyes Tick-tock, tick-tock Everyone goes, everyone dies Are you a ghost inside this machine? Wonder and amaze The City lives inside your brain Close and discover The mask that drives you insane Wonder and amaze The Cities live inside our brains Close and discover The masks the keep us insane Are we just ghosts in the machine?
12.
Take Apart Another Me (or the Automaton) 04:35
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Take apart another me Take apart another you Are there pieces everywhere? Are there secrets in the air? Why don’t you Try something new Close your eyes and look inside Is it red or is it blue? Little pictures of the past Change the frame and make it last Where do all those people go? Do you really want to know? Why don’t I Show you the sky Open up and look outside Is that a purple dragonfly? How do we Change the chemistry Into to learning how to change the world? Broken pieces of a chair You can find them anywhere Was it me or was it you? Can you show me what to do? Why do I Hate the Southern Sky? Turn around and face the Sun Can you tell me when you’re done? You can see or you can hear Are you closer when you’re near? Did you take a step outside? Now you have to hide Why did you Break into this zoo? Did you find an answer here? Do you think the answer’s clear? How do we Change the chemistry Into to learning how to change the world? Wait until tomorrow comes To see what you believe Waiting for the beating drums To see when I should leave How do we Face our ancestry When do we begin to save the world? Take apart another me Take apart another you There are pieces everywhere There are secrets in the air
13.
Eleven Times 05:26
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Eleven times, I ran And eleven times, I lost When do I escape? When should I descend? Where do I belong? I should find another cage Before it starts to rain I should try to make it through alive Eleven darker days Eleven endless nights Do I stay inside? Do I have to hide from you? How to I break through To get away from you? Eleven times, I tried And eleven times, I cried Is there more than this? A breathless mortal kiss And when the angel lied She took away my pride And gave it back in pieces To try and stop my life I should find another cage Before it starts to rain I should try to make it through alive Eleven suicides Eleven times, I died When do I escape? When should I descend? Underground, I hide To make it through this life Where do I belong? The answers are almost here
14.
A Light Born of Sins 03:57
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(V1) Oh, the flowers that Used to decorate our path Just became dust because of human wrath Oh, the birds that Used to celebrate our laughter Turned to ash, mourning hereafter (CH) It all started with a siren While we were holding hands And a scattering of senses Torn asunder by emerging lands Then came a light, born of our sins (V2) Oh, my hand I can Still feel your warmth Fighting for existence in this metal arm Oh, my love There is hope you are alive My heart beats through wires, just to survive (CH) Then came the new horizon Joined by survivors wearing armbands Then came the invasion Mutated forms from the Wasteland Then I Saw your ring attached to its skin (Outro) Oh, my soul How harsh this world was to you Stealing away The only beauty that you ever knew Oh, my soul How hard that was for you To bring new pain to your second life And let your metal half end itself by chains
15.
The Voices in My Head 04:31
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The voices in my head The voices in my head The voices in my head, singing the same song But in different keys The voices in my head are finally singing the same song All in different keys Decision’s made, a driving rhythm Common ground The Key of Anxiety says, No need to rush. Slowdown The Key of Doubt says, I’ll never be good enough. Three major, two minor One flat, one sharp Satan’s choir - the noise I dread The voices in my head The voices in my head The voices in my head are singing the same song But in different keys The voices in my head are finally singing the same song All in different keys Path is cleared, lesson learned Until the Key of Fear says, I’m gonna fail It ain’t earned The voices in my head The voices in my head The voices in my head are singing the same song Three major, two minor One flat, one sharp Satan’s choir - the noise I dread The voices in my head, appeased The voices in my head finally singing the same song Courage says screw those other keys, just believe Voices in my head, voices, voices …
16.
Move into the Cloud 02:18
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Sniveling fools in a Crumbling world Put on your headset, kid Move into the Cloud Squash your thoughts, you won’t use them Squash your memories, you don’t need them Forget it all Be here now Did you take your Adderall? Forget it all It’s just too much (makes no difference) Sit and rust (makes no difference) Sit and bitch (makes no difference) It’s just too much Try to forget it all Forget it all Forget it all Forget it all Groveling Tools in a Crumbling world Change your mindset, kid Move into the Cloud Forget it all Squash your thoughts, you won’t use them Squash your memories, you don’t need them Forget it all Be here now Did you take your Adderall? It’s just too much (makes no difference) Sit and rust (makes no difference) Sit and bitch (makes no difference) It’s just too much Try to forget it all Forget it all Forget it all Forget it all
17.
Freedom in Dystopia 09:04
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What is freedom when religion controls you? What is freedom when governments oppress you? What is freedom when you can not be you? We hide underground. We tell stories in secret. We read forbidden books. We watch abandoned movies. What is freedom when you feel alone? What is freedom when you can’t reach out? What is freedom when they can’t see you? They chase us. They bind us. They steal our homes. They take our lives. What is freedom when you cannot stand? What is freedom when you cannot breathe? What is freedom when you cannot see? What is freedom when you cannot choose?
18.
Children of Tomorrow 05:17
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Waiting for tomorrow I raise my head What to do with all this folly I hang my head I hang my head again Will there be a sign Will there still be life For us Waiting for tomorrow I look around What should I do with all this sorrow I shake the ground I shake the ground again Will there be a sign Will there still be life For us

about

February Album Writing Month. 2024.

Try to write 14 songs in 29 days (LEAP YEAR!).

I was able to write 14 by myself and an additional 4 more in collaboration with SuzieK (2 songs) and EssaHumans (2 songs).

I decided to leave the songs in chronological order. February 1 to 29, 2024.

I did not write everyday. I caught the RONA at my son's 11th birthday party on the 3rd, so I was a bit beat up and exhausted most of the month. I also had the pleasure of throwing out my back at the end of January, so February was an adventure. I mention these minor impairments as they affected how I played the songs (no acoustic/folk/medieval ditties this time), and images of pain and discomfort and suffering might have hemorrhaged into the lyrics when they otherwise mightn't have. It's all good though, as I really like how these songs turned out.

Some cyberpunk dystopias and radioactive wastelands. Some thoughts of our fallen warriors (veterans). Some apocalyptic weather. Some alternative pasts, and even some encouragement for my son.

Thanks to Anthony Kapfer, Suzie King, EssaHumans, and Eric Bestul.

Thanks to Leo, Spencer, Anthony, Jason, Charles, Brian, and Kendall for the artworks that litter about on this album and tracks! (each track has its own individual art).

For Benjamin and Melissa, and for my Mom and Rigby.

credits

released April 1, 2024

All songs, music and lyrics by Brad James Beske

*Except "Father and Son (A Cyberpunk Story)" and "A Light Born from Sings" : lyrics by EssaHumans, music by Brad James Beske
"The Voices in My Head" and "Move into the Cloud": lyrics by Suzie King, music by Brad James Beske

Artwork by Spencer, Charles, Brian, Anthony, Jason, Kendall, and Leo Visual manipulations by Brad

recorded at the Uranium Playpen, in the Dungeons February 1 to 29, 2024.

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Strange Talking Animals Springfield Township, New Jersey

Born in raised in Madison, WI. Transplanted to Brooklyn, Jamaica, and finally Springfield. Versed in chamber pop and rock, psychedelic and prog, and expanding musical horizons to experience electronic and ambient musics and experiment with modular and chaotic synthesis.Overfed with science fiction and fantasy and actual science. And stay-at-home dadness. ... more

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